This year was my first official year of homeschooling; I finally had a Kindergartener. From the beginning I knew one thing I didn’t want for our family was seclusion. Yes, we have eachother, church on Sunday’s and community group; but I still knew we wanted people in our life more than two days a week. We have a local homeschool co-op in our area, which I had heard great things about, so we signed up for it! I knew I was taking a leap of faith and that getting there every Monday wouldn’t be easy, especially once the baby was born, but we did it anyway.
As Sunday night comes I begin to think of the onslaught of Monday mornings; having to get four kids five and under ready, and make lunches, clean up breakfast, start some wash, and leave the house by 8:45 or 8:00, during the weeks I “help” set up. Yes, Monday mornings are a little more hectic than I would like, and yes my wonderful husband lends a helping hand. But the amazing thing is, we do it and we get to Co-op on time.
I am tired. I get to this point after all my babies, I am just plain tired. I might feel refreshed for a little in the morning, but by the time 11 or 12:00 rolls around I am tired! This is even worse on co-op days. I love people, but a lot of social interaction completely drains me. Yesterday I came home and questioned if we would do this next year. I was exhausted, my nerves were shot, and I had a parenting failure at the co-op (right before the assembly prayer, my two year old starts throwing a tantrum). But I realize I need this co-op.
I often think of the passage about Elijah in 1 Kings chapter 19. Elijah runs into a cave and God asks him, “What are you doing here Elijah?” Well Elijah was sitting there feeling sorry for himself. He felt like he was the only one left fighting to uphold the law of the Lord and pure worship of Him. Later in the passage God tells Elijah, that he has left 7,000 in Israel who had not bowed their knee to Baal. Elijah needed to be reminded he was not the only one.
After sitting and feeling discouraged and sorry for myself for a little yesterday, God gently reminded me I was not the only one. I am not the only one who has a bunch of little children at home. I am not the only one who hasn’t gotten a full night of sleep in months. I am not the only one who has to fight against mood swings in order to continue to show selfless love to my husband and children. I am not the only know who ever questions if choosing a different path may have been easier, but yet knows this is the path God has for them.
I need the co-op because I have the privilege of talking to some wonderful, godly women who remind me I am not alone. There are many other exhausted mothers out there who desire to train up godly children, to love their husbands, and to grow in their own personal holiness. There are other godly women who daily fail but keep on going. It is a blessing to see other women who have done this longer than me and even though it is tough, they continue to serve Jesus faithfully day in and out relying on Christ’s strength.
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.