It has been a while since I have written a post. We have been getting back into the swing of things with a school routine, and I must be honest and say the first three weeks were pretty stressful and I was pretty overwhelmed. Last week was our fourth week and I finally felt the rhythm flowed naturally for us. I haven’t really thought about much except educating my kids, until recently. And this morning while I sat and prayed and read scripture, I felt inspired to write. I feel the best writing comes with inspiration.
My baby is currently 10.5 months old, he is not so much a baby anymore. For me this would be about the time I get pregnant again. I conceived Lydia when Abel was 8 months, I conceived James when Lydia was 10 months, I conceived when James was 11 months and then miscarried and then conceived 4 months after the miscarriage with Micah. It seems for the past month as I have gone to church and people see that my baby is getting bigger, I am asked at least once a week if I want more. I smile and tell them that I am open for whatever.
Telling people in today’s age that you are open for whatever when it comes to children, often takes people by surprise. I hear all sorts of responses. Some say, “I was never a baby person, I know some people just love babies.” Others say,”well if you can, then why not.” Some tell me, “that they could never have handled that.” I usually just smile. I often think, “yea, I don’t really love the baby stage either, it’s tiring.” Or, “Physically God has opened my womb so I can have babies, but if you mean by can financially, I am not sure people would think it is financially responsible for us to have more babies.” Or to the last comment,” I can’t really handle it, but by the grace of God he has grown me and sanctified me and equipped me.”
I do not feel like supermom. Being a mother does not come easily, I still have selfish desires and lose my patience. We don’t have a great financial plan of how we will make sure our kids can buy a car and how we can pay for their college. I don’t have amazing babies who sleep through the night. My labors are not quick and easy and painless. I don’t have perfect children who listen all the time. All to say, I am not open to having more babies because it is easy and convenient.
I am open to having more babies because I have had a conviction that it is not an area I need to be in control of. This in itself has been beyond freeing. I believe that biblically the LORD has been in control of the womb and I have asked him to be in control of mine.
For the Lord had closed all the wombs of the house of Abimelech because of Sarah, Abraham’s wife.
When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren.
1 Samuel 1:5
But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb.
2 Corinthians 12:9
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
2 Peter 1:3
“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to lifeandgodliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence,”