We officially have started our 9th week of homeschooling. Kids are ever-changing, especially when it comes to babies in regards to their nap schedules and development. What was working when we started school mid- August, was no longer working. My house and attitude were not reflecting peace or the fruits of the Holy Spirit. I realized that this was a problem and that things had to change.
When we started school, Micah was only starting to crawl and was taking longer naps and still content sitting in my lap. He now is walking and climbing and not content sitting in my lap. He also will often only take a 1 hr morning nap. This has resulted in frustration, and honestly him falling off the table a few times.
When we started school, I also wanted to strictly stick to Charlotte Mason’s Form I timetable. This timetable makes for short and effective lessons, but only gives one fifteen minute break in a 2.5 hr period. This was not working for our family. For the whole 2.5 hours I was pretty much pushing the little ones to the side and easily getting frustrated with them. This is not OK, they can learn to be quiet and wait, but not for that long. I knew something had to change. I also knew I had to schedule some intentional time with James, even if it isn’t everyday.
When we started School, I had this grand idea that we would go for a Nature Walk and do nature journals every day. Micah’s naps changed and it is difficult to find a good time to go for the long walks I had hoped. Also James started speech therapy twice a week. I am thankful that my mom is taking him one day, so I can still get some things done at home.
I also was getting burnt out. My soul needed feeding. Although I am able to have time with the Lord in the morning, I still need a time to get something done in quiet in the middle of the day. I can’t go non-stop, as much as I wish I could, I can’t. Therefore I have realized that somethings I hoped for everyday, are not going to happen. The Hospitality I wished to show every Friday night, was sometimes producing a tense and anxious attitude in me. I also realized that although I had all these things I wanted to give my children and do with them, I also had to feed my own soul.
I just took a long time and reevaluated my whole schedule. I reavaluated what I hope will be a working schedule and produce peace in our home, but here is the thing; I will probably have to make a new one in a few months.
Scheduling for peace means saying no. You can’t do it all. You can’t do everything well. Scheduling for peace requires prayer. It requires a prayer like this, “God you have only given me a finite amount of time. God you have created me with specific interests and gifts. God you have given me the family you have given me for a reason. God you know my family’s needs and limitations and you know what they need to flourish. Lord, please help me not to feel I need to meet the World’s expectation and live the way they do. Help me say no to worldly distractions that eat up my time. Help me to be wise with my time. Free me from guilt for saying no to things that just don’t fit into our time or budget right now. Lord also give me wisdom when something is a true need or there is a true act of service that needs to take place and allow me to put everything else on hold. I want you Christ, to be LORD over every area of my life, including how I spend my time.”
My greatest desire is to have a home that is characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. A home where children are not hindered, but can come to Jesus and come to me and that as they come to me I would respond the way that Christ would respond. My ideals and checklists are not worth sacrificing peace. I really believe God is working on my heart and showing me that I can’t start with what I hope I can get done, but rather start with asking the Lord, “what will produce peace in my home?” “What will not hinder my children from coming to Christ?”
For those of you interested in how I get it all done and still try to fight for restoration, you can click on the link.